High Fives, High Respect

There’s something joyful about a high five. It’s quick, celebratory, and an easy way to foster connection that feels innocent. Yet even a high five requires consent. 

This National High Five Day, April 16th, we are celebrating more than a simple gesture by highlighting the deeper value behind it: respecting personal boundaries.  

What is a boundary, anyway? 

A boundary is a marker of where you end, and where I begin. It’s the invisible line between individuals that protects their comfort, safety, and sense of self.  

Physical boundaries are a great way to show respect for those around you. Everyone has different preferences that can change depending on the situation, relationship, or even the day.  

So yes, even something as friendly as a high five deserves a quick check-in. 

Why this matters even more for people with I/DD 

For individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities, navigating social cues and physical boundaries can be more complex. Some people may seek touch for sensory comfort or connection. Others may prefer more space due to sensory sensitivity or have difficulty interpreting people’s body language or social cues.  

People with IDD are disproportionately at risk of having their boundaries violated, often by people they know.  

That’s why teaching—and modeling—respect for boundaries isn’t just polite; it’s protective, empowering, and essential for safety. 

Consent can be simple (and even fun). 

Good news: consent doesn’t have to be awkward or complicated. It can be as easy as: 

• “Can I give you a high five?”  
• “Do you want a hug or just a wave?”  
• “Is this okay?”  

Clear, simple communication helps everyone understand expectations and feel respected.  

When someone says “no”? That’s not rejection, it’s self-advocacy in action. 

Modeling respect starts with us. 

One of the most powerful ways to teach boundaries is to live them out loud. That means: 

• Asking before initiating touch  
• Respecting a “no” immediately and without pressure  
• Using language like “I’m not comfortable with that” or “I prefer this instead.”  

These small moments build a culture where everyone learns: My body belongs to me, and your body belongs to you. 

Making boundaries visible and understandable 

For many people with I/DD, abstract concepts like “personal space” become clearer with concrete tools such as role-playing different social situations, visual supports like “personal space bubbles”, or practicing how to say yes or no in everyday interactions.  

These approaches turn boundaries from a vague idea into a skill that can be practiced, learned, and owned. 

This High Five Day, smile, ask for consent, and wait for a response before jumping straight in. 

You might still get that high five. Or a fist bump. Or a wave. Or nothing at all. 

And all of those are perfectly okay. 

The bigger picture: dignity, safety, and belonging 

Respecting physical boundaries is about more than manners. It’s about dignity and human rights. 

When we honor someone’s “yes” and “no,” we help build safer relationships, stronger self-advocacy skills, greater confidence and independence, and communities where everyone belongs.  

That’s worth way more than any high five. 

So go ahead—celebrate National High Five Day. 

Just remember: the best high five is the one that’s wanted. 

Because respect? 

That’s always a win.